Detention
by DC Talk rox
Summary: Detention is no fun...or is it?


**Detention**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

Detention is no fun…or is it?

I hate Snape. I hate him almost as much as my brother Harry Potter. He doesn't know he has a twin sister though, so don't tell. But I haven't introduced myself, have I? I'm Jessica Pauley, but everyone calls me Jessie. I'm a Hufflepuff 5th year and right now I'm walking to the dungeons for detention. I get there five minutes before eight. Snape is already sitting behind his desk grading papers.

"You're late." He says without looking up.

"Actually, I'm five minutes early." I reply. I turn my hair auburn like my mum's use to be and my eyes green so I look just like her. Oh, sorry; I must have forgotten to tell you. I'm a metamorphmagus. He ignored my comment.

"You'll be doing lines tonight, Miss Pauley." I sit at the desk with the paper-er-parchment, quill, and ink.

"What do you want me to write?"

"'I must follow directions'"

"Can I use a pen instead of the quill?" I ask pulling one out of my bag. Quills are way too messy. He looks up of the first time since I came in, and nods. "How many times?"

"I'll tell you when you can stop." I sigh and start writing.

I must follow directions.

I must follow directions.

-Then I had an idea. A very James Potter idea.-

I must not sing "we're off to see the wizard" while skipping to class.

I must not make light saber sounds while waving my wand.

I must not say that the Accio Charm is the force.

I must not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin mascot.

I must not cause people's cauldrons to explode.

I must not pretend to be Lily Potter and haunt Severus Snape.

I must not tease Remus about his furry little problem.

I must not agree to help Luna look for nargles during study hall.

I must not tell Harry Potter he has a twin sister. –Snape knew my secret already-

I must not introduce first years to Fluffy.

I must not make an official 'Hug a Slytherin day'.

I must not tell Malfoy to make like a ferret and bounce.

I must not walk around school singing 'Voldemort Voldemort ohhh Voldie Voldie Voldie Voldemort! Dum dum dum dum dum'.

I must not plan world domination during History of Magic.

I must not call the house elves smurfs. They're not blue.

I must not call Dumbledore Santa Clause during Christmas Holliday.

I must call Professor Umbridge Professor Toad.

I must not walk around singing "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk.

I must not make Rita Skeeter watch the movie 'Beatle Juice'.

I must not say "A great man once said…" and then quote one of the Weasley twins.

I must not open the Hogwarts front door and yell that Sirius Black is home.

I must not let my brother start a private army known as Dumbledore's Army.

I must not disguise my chemistry book and take it to potions and then say there's nothing in here about potions.

I must not embroider all the Slytherin boys' robes with pink flowers and purple kittens.

I must not tell Ron Weasley that the word gullible is written on the ceiling of the Entrance Hall.

I must not give Hermione a broomstick for her birthday.

I must not pour water on Umbridge. She won't melt.

I must not call Voldemort on my cell phone and try to make a peace treaty. (That's my mum's job)

I must not give Peeves a paintball gun for Christmas.

I must not give Fred or George a paintball gun for Christmas.

I must not tell Snape exactly what I think of him. Too much cursing.

I must not call Voldemort on my cell phone and tell him to try ballet dancing instead of cursing everyone.

I must not tease Voldemort about the picture I found online of him with a pink teddy bear.

I must not spike Snape's drink with Veritaserum.

"That's enough, Miss Pauley. You are excused." I stand up, tap the paper with my wand so that I have a copy, leave the paper, quill, and ink on the desk, and leave before he has a chance to get up and see what I wrote. I might look like my mum if I like but I'm my father at heart.

Once in the hall I look around and start skipping down the hall singing quite loudly "We're off to see the wizard".

**AN: Review? They make me happy. And I might even write another about another one of Jessie's detentions. So let me show you the little blue button.**

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